You Can't Beat the Classics!

A Home-for-the-Holidays Conspiracy Theory: Who Is Barack Obama?

When researching things, my policy is always to begin with something assuredly true. For instance, if I were researching the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK), I would start out with the one unassailable fact that JFK was shot to death on November 22, 1963 in Dallas. You can’t get around that.

Then as move beyond that you get to things that are murkier. Who shot him? That’s sort of clear but there are some interesting angles. And then you get to the really dark corners. Why?

This is how I work. So in tackling one of my favorite topics, Barack Obama’s birth and early years, I decided to find that one unassailable fact.

I thought: Barack Obama was born on August 4, 1961. But do we even know that? Barack Obama says this is his birthday, but he also said if I liked my healthcare insurance, I could keep it. And we have an official document that states August 4, 1961 is his birthday, but it’s almost assuredly a forgery. You generally forge documents because you want them to say things that are not true.

So we don’t know if that is his birthday.

Then I thought of his parents. Well, we don’t know for sure who is father is. There is no DNA test and there has been rampant speculation that the man after whom he was named was not his actual father. The Kenyan, Barack Obama, Senior, was brought to the United States as part of a CIA-sponsored operation to help the U.S. educate potential future allies in Africa. It has been argued that Barack Obama Senior was not the baby’s father at all but agreed to play that role in return for help in getting him to Harvard and extending his U.S. visa (those things all happened after baby Barack was born). Supporting this theory is the fact that Barack Obama Senior had very little interest in his son; he was not there when the child was born, nor did he ever live with the child or correspond with him. The paternity of former President Barack Obama is a story for another day but let’s say the odds are pretty long that he was related to the guy he was named after.

But we do know his mother’s name, right? Barack Obama was the child of Anne Dunham, whose full maiden name was Stanley Anne Dunham. She often dropped the Stanley. Not only is it a weird first name for a girl, it was her father’s first name so it makes family accounts confusing.

But was Anne Dunham actually Barack Obama’s mother? Here is why I am perplexed.

Wikipedia, the gatekeeper for all things endorsed by the mainstream media, says with typical conviction that Anne Dunham was born in Wichita, Kansas. I doubt that. I think she was born in Beirut, Lebanon.

No really.

The Dunham parents were CIA people and there is a photo of young Anne Dunham with her parents taken in Beirut. She’s wearing the uniform of a French-speaking girl’s school. And it’s interesting that if you read about Anne’s many accomplishments, she spoke French fluently. In school in America, she was part of the French club. That’s interesting because she never studied French officially. She is on the record for studying Indonesian and related languages (dialects in Indonesia) and she took some Russian courses. But she just magically speaks French. And the photo of her in a girls’ school uniform from a school in Beirut is another good tip-off.

Anne Dunham was an only child. When her parents came back Stateside, the little family moved around a bit. This is odd because her father was ostensibly a furniture salesmen and that isn’t the sort of job that requires a lot of moving to different states. It is a fairly good CIA cover job, though. Anyway, French-speaking Anne Dunham landed in Mercer Island, Washington, during her high school years.

Anne may not have been the prettiest or smartest girl in school, but it appears from those who knew her when that she was fun, outgoing, and popular. She loved living on Mercer Island. (Pretty tony neighborhood for a peripatetic furniture salesman.) Once she graduated from high school in Washington state, her parents wanted to move to Hawaii. According to biographical sources, Anne was not happy with the move, since, like most 17-year-old girls, she wanted to stay near her friends.

However, Anne had no choice but to leave Mercer Island and follow her parents to Hawaii after graduation. It was 1960. She enrolled in the University of Hawaii, attended events at the East-West Center in Honolulu, and embarked on a study of the Russian language. That’s how she met Barack Hussein Obama, Senior. He was there, too, also taking Russian courses. (By the way, Anne Dunham used the East-West Center in Honolulu like a dating app—she met both of her husbands there. In fact, it seems like pretty much whenever she started regular attendance there, she wound up married to some foreign guy.)

But let’s come back to the birth issue. If Barack Obama was born on August 4, 1961 as claimed and if he was full-term baby, as I am presuming, then Anne Dunham would have conceived in November 1960.

Remember Barack Obama the future president was born August 4, 1961. There are bibliographic records that document that a person going by the name of Mrs. Anna Obama, moved to Seattle, Washington in August 1961. This means that she moved there with newborn little baby Barack Obama. People who have researched say that this Mrs. Anna Obama did indeed move to the apartment in August 1961 with a newborn baby boy.

Where Was She?

Anne Dunham got pregnant around November 1960. She finished a term at University of Hawaii in December 1960, but then ended her studies there—she didn’t enroll in the spring semester. For about six months, around February 1961 to November 1961, Anne Dunham was off the radar. Back in 1961, teen pregnancy and unwed mothers were a bit scandalous. Furthermore, Anne was carrying a mixed-race baby, another potentially difficult topic. So perhaps she just quit school and stayed home. Perhaps her parents hid her. Or perhaps they sent her away—that was a common strategy for dealing with young unwed mothers in 1961.

Susan Daniels, who wrote The Rubbish Hauler’s Wife, speculates that teenager Anne Dunham moved to Canada during her pregnancy to be cared for at a facility that sheltered young unwed mothers. In fact, Daniels says that baby Barack likely was born in Canada. Daniels could never prove this, so it’s all speculation. But if Anne Dunham had her baby in nearby Vancouver (which is the location of a home for unwed mothers that Daniels thinks could be where she was staying), it would be relatively easy to get to Seattle and start school. Certainly easier than flying with a newborn from Honolulu or Nairobi.

But no matter where he was born, he was only about three weeks old when he arrived in Seattle with his mother. Anne was always an outgoing person and very popular; many people who knew her reported on her newborn child. One of her friends said that Anne was not really the maternal type and she found it startling that Anne had a baby.

Now for the list of strangeness.

A First List of Strange Things

• Although Anne Dunham claimed to be married to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. and even took his name for a short time, there is no record that they ever got married. (There is a record that they divorced.)

• There are no photographs of their wedding.

• There is no record that Anne and her alleged husband ever lived at the same address.

• There are no photographs of Anne Dunham as a pregnant woman.

• There are no photographs of her newborn baby son.

• Barack Obama, Sr. did not attend his child’s birth. In fact, he never saw his son until the boy was much older.

• Barack Obama, Sr. did not correspond with his son over the years. A biography of former President Obama says that Barack Obama Senior never even had a photo or picture of his son, nor did he ever try to make contact with the boy.

• Once the baby was born, Anne quickly moved to Seattle to continue her studies at a new university. Barack Obama Senior stayed in Hawaii while Anne left Hawaii and moved inexplicably to Seattle.

• Barack Obama Senior moved to Massachusetts to continue his studies at Harvard, leaving Anne and the infant in Seattle.

• Barack Obama never disputed the child’s paternity but he never paid child support, either.

• Barack Obama, Sr. was already married in Kenya when he allegedly got involved with young Anne Dunham. This may have made their alleged marriage (if it even occurred) invalid.

• Michelle Obama once said that her mother-in-law Anne Dunham had her first son when she was “very young and very single.” But the official story is that she was married. And she had been living with parents in Hawaii, but if you believe that her baby was born in Hawaii, then the scenario is puzzling. Pregnant 18-year-old Anne is married to an absentee husband, lives with her parents, has the baby in Honolulu, and barely is she out of the hospital then she moves away all alone to Seattle.

• A friend of Anne Dunham from high school said that Anne was very angry at her parents for uprooting her from Mercer Island after high school graduation and got pregnant to “get even” with them. It also explains why she was in a big hurry to get back to Washington state as soon as she could.

Oh, Canada!

Anne’s abrupt appearance in Seattle with baby Barack makes his birth in Kenya unlikely. To get from Honolulu (where pregnant Anne allegedly lived) to Nairobi, Kenya takes 28 hours. Why would a young woman travel to a far-away land to have a baby in the company of her in-laws, whom she had never met? There is no record that Barack Obama Senior was in Kenya at the same time. The Kenyan birth theory puts teenage Anne all alone in Kenya with her in-laws and Barack Obama Senior’s other wife. What young woman would willingly do that?

And if Barack Obama, Senior, was the father of the future president in name only and not biologically—having the baby in Kenya does not make sense. You can’t hold both conspiracy theories at the same time, namely that someone other than Barack Obama Senior fathered the future president and that the future president was born in Kenya with the Obama clan.

Besides, how would young Anne manage to get a newborn all the way back from Kenya to Seattle? That’s less of a journey, but it still could take 24 hours. Twenty-four hours in a plane is a long time for an infant, and I’m not even sure the airlines back then would have allowed such a little-bitty baby to fly.

If Anne was actually in Seattle in August 1961 with baby boy Barack, it suggests he was born nearby. That’s why the Canada story makes sense. Well, it makes more sense than the Kenyan story. And it’s pretty clear from her actions that Anne Dunham did not want to be in Hawaii any longer than she had to. (That is odd behavior right there, considering she had just married a man who was staying in Honolulu.)

Or maybe Barack Obama was born on some other date?

More Crazy Stuff about Barack Obama

On at least two occasions, Barack Obama has claimed to have been born in Kenya. One was in an author biographical blurb on a book and the other was in a little-viewed video clip when he was just starting out in politics. Now if Barack Obama had been born in Kenya, it would have made him a dual citizen. He would have been a citizen of the United Kingdom, since in 1961, Kenya was part of the British Empire. He would also have been an American because of his mother.

But Obama’s citizenship gets even more confusing.

When Barack Obama was perhaps seven years old, Anne Dunham visits the East-West Center again in Honolulu and picks up husband #2. This is a very wealthy but spooky guy named Lolo Soetoro from Indonesia. (I am using the word spook to refer to having intelligence agency connections.)

Anne and Lolo get married in the United States, but then Lolo—who has ties to the Indonesia military—gets called back to Indonesia. There was a revolution going on at the time. Lolo moved back to Jakarta first, and Anne followed him later. She brings her young son to Jakarta, Indonesia, where she and Lolo live a relatively affluent life in a big house with servants. Her son is enrolled in school as Barry Soetoro. His father is listed as Lolo Soetoro, and the paperwork that got him enrolled in local schools states Barry Soetoro is an Indonesian citizen and a Muslim. Now this has been explained away as simply “paperwork.” You had to be a citizen and a Muslim to get into the local school system. Others have argued that Lolo did actually adopt the boy according to Indonesia law. Or mabye the Soetoro family was just haphazard about filling out forms and put down what they thought would most likely get little Barry into school.

A bigger question is whether Barry Soetoro was truly an Indonesian citizen. Here things get really complicated. If he was an Indonesian citizen by law, did he have to renounce Indonesian citizenship before becoming president? There is no record he ever did. Here are some more weird things.

• Barack Obama says he was born in Honolulu but they couldn’t find his birth certificate. At first, it was lost. However, vital records are never treated casually by state officials. Birth certificates would never be tossed out or accidentally lost. And sure enough, eventually, someone found the “short form” of the birth certificate, which is an abbreviated document, more like a receipt than the long-form “certificate of live birth.” You need the “long form” signed by the doctor to get a passport or to be official. They lost the “long form” for Barack Obama until suddenly they found it. However, there are many errors on the alleged “long-form” birth certificate of Barack Obama.

  • The woman in charge of Hawaiian public records at the time, Loretta Fudday, was going to testify about it in 2008. She was a friend of Anne Dunham, who had passed away by this time.

  • Loretta Fuddy died under mysterious circumstances right before she was due to appear to testify about the birth certificate.

• Obama also has a sketchy social security number. It was first issued over 100 years ago but never went dormant (that’s the kind of social numbers that get stolen for fraud). It was issued in Connecticut, a place where Barack had never lived. There is no valid explanation as to why a guy from Hawaii would have a social security number from Connecticut.

  • While in high school, Barack held a job in Hawaii before he got this current Connecticut social security number. That suggests he had an earlier social security number since he would need it to get the job he held at Baskin-Robbins as a teen. But he apparently ditched that number. Why?

  • It’s illegal to have more than one social security number

  • This subject has never percolated to the top of conspiracy theories about Barack Obama, but it’s a big one

• Barack’s university records are sealed

• Around 2008, Barack’s passport files in Washington, D.C. were hacked. Nothing to see here.

  • In 2008, a man named Leiutentant Quarles Harris (Leiutenant was not his rank, it was his first name) was apprehended in D.C. on drug charges. Authorities found bogus credit cards and passport files in his car. He testified about being part of a ring of criminals perpetrating passport fraud. Harris knew people hacking into the passport files, and he allegedly knew about the hacking of Obama’s passport files.

  • There is not evidence that Harris did the hacking, but he was starting to talk about some people who did.

  • He was found shot dead in his car a few weeks after he said he knew about the hacking of Barack Obama’s passport files.

  • The case has never been solved.

• Around election time in 2008, a man named Larry Sinclair came forward with a story that he had a couple of homosexual play-dates with Barack Obama in Chicago that involved cocaine. At the time, Barack Obama was an Illinois state senator, but Larry Sinclair didn’t know that. He just thought he was some guy looking for a party and a male lover.

  • This was not the first alleged gay encounter that Barack Obama was involved in, but many of the other alleged partners of Obama died under strange and unexpected circumstances. Sinclair is a bit of an anomaly, in that he is a survivor.

  • Sinclair realized who Obama was when he saw him giving the famous “hope and change” speech at the Democrat National Convention.

  • Sinclair was going to go public with his story about Obama’s cocaine-fueled gay sex adventures, but Beau Biden, the attorney general in Delaware, had Larry Sinclair arrested on various charges. Sinclair was the kind of guy who passed bad checks and did drugs, so there were sufficient charges. It’s just that the timing makes the arrest a little suspicious.

  • Sinclair remained incarcerated throughout the campaign to help Barack get elected. Oh, and it got Joe on the ticket as Vice President. Quid pro quo?

• In 2023, Obama’s personal chef was found drowned in a pond. The depth of the water has been redacted out of Secret Service emails about the drowning death, but the average depth of Edgartown Pond is 3 feet. Furthermore, Tafari Campbell was a tall man and he could swim (there is video proof of that on his Instagram account).

  • Tafari Campbell was in the company of a female Secret Service agent at the time. This information has been divulged but not explained. She was not in the water with him. It’s not clear if she was providing security or she was there as a companion in her off time.

  • The cause of death was ruled drowning. How does a grown man who can swim drown in a shallow pond?

This is why I say I don’t even know that Barack Obama was born August 4, 1961. I don’t know where he was born for certain. Even the official story of Hawaii seems unlikely, since Anne was so eager to get to Seattle to start school in August 1961. I am not convinced Barack Obama, Senior, was his father. I’m not convinced that Anne Dunham was born in the United States. She may not even be his mother. He has a bogus social security number and we don’t know much about his college years (he went to three schools—Occidental University in Los Angeles, transferring to Columbia in New York to get his undergraduate degree, then Harvard for Law School). But there are people who claim to have gone to those schools at the same time who never saw him there. And let’s face it, a hipster smooth-talking Black guy would have been noticeable in some of the small departments in these schools.

Barack Obama, the former president, has been eclipsed by subsequent political events. He’s bleeding relevance. He seems long past his prime. His speeches are no longer fiery and inspirational. They sound old and bitter. He’s an angry man. His policies have failed, he made us a more divided nation. His legacy is crumbling.

But I still have one question: Who is he? How could any man rise from obscurity to such heights of power—and be a total mystery?

Most of what we know about him is not true. That much is certain.

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