Of All the Suicides That Never Happened

This Never Happened the Most

No, this is not about Jeffrey Epstein. I wish I had information to share about the notorious billionaire-spy-child-trafficker but I don’t know any more than the rest of us. All I have is speculation.

However, speculation about Epstein’s last day in prison has led me to consider the fact that for certain elitists, suicide is a valuable weapon in that it can—under the right circumstances—allow nefarious forces to kill their enemies without having to go through all of the hassle of disposing of the body. Most of my knowledge of this sad and grisly aspect of crime has been derived from watching Breaking Bad, where characters had more trouble getting rid of the bodies than they did committing murder.

And that returns us to the only dynamic duo I know on earth who has had free rein to commit a wide range of crimes out in the open: Bill and Hillary Clinton. Bill is actually a very excellent campaign strategist, a good speaker, and a charismatic man who just happens to be evil. Hillary has fewer practical skills and is more overtly wicked.

Bill and Hillary were embroiled in at least three major scandals in their first six months at the White House, which has to be some kind of record. The Clintons in the White House were a slow-motion crime spree that continued even when they left office. This sinister couple ran obvious pay-for-play grift organizations (two of them; the Clinton Foundation and the Clinton Global Initiative) which have never even been audited. While arranging for a false dossier to be produced accusing her political opponent (Trump) of Russian collusion, Hillary covered up how she sold Russia uranium reserves. And remember when her debacle in Benghazi resulted in American deaths? Hillary testified before Congress, sighing in frustration, “What difference does it make?” Hillary describes herself as a feminist icon and is a big proponent of the “me too” movement, but when women credibly accused her husband of rape, she called the female victims “bimbos.”

Did I mention the emails?

Anyway, if there is one thing Bill and Hillary have done for the American “body politic” it’s to provide us insights into the politics of dead bodies.

Second Highest Man in Government to Die in Office Since 1960

If I were to ask you the two highest-ranking government officials who have died in office since 1960, could you do it? You would likely get one right—John F. Kennedy, Jr. who was assassinated on November 22, 1963 in Dallas. But that one was hard to hide because it was shown on television and was captured on film and photograph. But you probably won’t know the other one.

It’s Vince Foster.

Vince Foster was Deputy White House Counsel to then-President Clinton. An old boyhood friend of Bill Clinton and a colleague of Hillary Clinton from the Rose Law Firm days, Foster died in July 1993, just six months after taking office. He was found dead in Fort Marcy park, a tiny and rarely visited little park near the White House (it was so small and unremarkable, it didn’t even have public rest rooms). Since the body was discovered in a park, the park police had initial jurisdiction, although the matter was quickly turned over to police more used to dealing with murder. (Or maybe it was more used to covering up murders.) A guy named Fiske wrote a report and stated it was suicide; later a Special Counsel under Kenneth Starr investigated and also wrote a report stating it was a suicide. The reports look reverse-engineered—they concluded suicide first and then tried to adjust the facts to fit the conclusion.

Several experienced homicide detectives also looked at the evidence and concluded it was not suicide. Their findings were not included in the official reports.

No, the government, the Clintons, and mainstream media all concurred: Vince Foster killed himself.

The reasons they cite as to why this is a suicide rather than a murder are that Vince Foster was suffering from depression at the time. The depression has been disputed, but even if it was true, a depressed person can still be murdered. And depressed people do not necessarily commit suicide. Lots of depressed people are walking around all over the world and they’re not dead.

To make the case for suicide, the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) had to tap dance around evidence in a manner that would have made the Nicholas Brothers dizzy. The FBI had to admit there were dubious circumstances in a report (get it here, I’m reading from Part 02, page 413 in your hymnal). What they did was reverse engineer evidence to fit the conclusion they were told: Vince Foster killed himself.

What We Know

It is undisputed that Vince Foster had an office assistant run and grab him lunch from the White House Mess on July 20, 1993. The lunchroom girl was none other than Linda Tripp, who would become famous later on due to her associations with Monica Lewinsky (but that’s another story for another day, boy howdy).

Foster’s last meal was a cheeseburger, fries, and a soft drink. Foster ate lunch alone in his office, and by about 1 p.m. left the White House and drove off alone in his own car. He said goodbye to one person on his security detail, but he did not say where he was going and apparently no one asked. He just left. By about 6:00 p.m. it was reported that Vince Foster was dead.

Vince Foster was a tall, thin man (about 6 foot 4 inches, 200 pounds). He was found lying on his back in a tiny out-of-the-way little park called Fort Marcy. Fort Marcy was a very small Civil War era park with a couple of cannons and some embankments or berms from the original historical site. As a park, it was undistinguished. Few people ever went there, and it was not neatly kept. It had a lot of scraggly underbrush that made it difficult to walk. It had no trails, and it was barely a quarter mile wide. Many people—even those living nearby—did not even know Fort Marcy existed.

Vince Foster was found lying in Fort Marcy park on a berm, with his head at the high point and his feet at the low point. His arms were straight at his sides; in his right hand was a handgun. His legs were straight out and close together. Most investigators’ reports mention a startling lack of blood. To get to Foster’s body, the authorities arrived at the little parking lot (24 spaces total) and walked about 800 feet to the site of the death, which was near one of two cannons in the park.

The official story is that Vince Foster shot himself by placing a handgun deep into his mouth and pulling the trigger. He left no obvious suicide note although a note of sorts was retrieved from his brief case several days later (the briefcase was searched the day his body was found and no note was there, however, the next time someone looked six days later, the note was there). It was far from a classic suicide note, although it did specifically mention the Clintons had nothing to do with all the things Foster had done wrong. (Narcissists always think everything is about them!)

There were some problems with the story. These nine questions (the bold part) are verbatim from the FBI report.

Nine Questions

Why wasn’t there more blood on and around Foster’s body?

Foster allegedly shot himself in the mouth, which is a very messy way to die. A bullet in the mouth should have dislodged some teeth, ripped up the jawbone, and cracked the skull. A lot of blood flows from facial and mouth injuries and shooting oneself in the mouth would have also resulted in the loss of brain tissue. The official explanation: there was a lot of blood, it was just coming from his back and was not visible. (So, you shoot yourself in the mouth but bleed out the back? Sometimes I think the FBI wasn’t even trying.)

Why were Foster’s hands found lying neatly at his side?

The FBI explanation is that Foster sat on the berm, about halfway up, and after the shot, his body just sprawled out neatly in this pattern. Of course, if he were killed elsewhere and dumped in Fort Marcy Park, this would be a good way to leave him. Just saying.

Why was the gun still in Foster’s hand?

In most cases involving this manner of death, the rebound on the trigger coupled with instantaneous death result in the gun being dropped or even thrown a bit away from the body. It is very rare for a person to shoot himself in the mouth and die with his arms at his side and the gun still in his hand. Now I admit it is not impossible, but it was so unusual that even the FBI noticed it as something that demanded an explanation. The FBI said it was because Foster’s finger got wedged in the trigger. The FBI did not ask another question we would like answered. Why was the gun found in Foster’s right hand? Vince Foster was left handed.

Why was there no blood on the gun?

The FBI says that it could not definitely draw any conclusion about why the gun had no blood marks, but then they dismissed it. They said it’s of little importance. However, if you want me to believe a guy shot himself in the mouth, I expect to see blood on the gun and all evidence should be considered important in a case like this.

Why did no one hear the shot?

Foster was shot on a weekday afternoon. Fort Marcy Park is a small, quiet park with very few visitors. You would think someone would have heard a gunshot. The FBI said no one was at the park and that’s why no one heard it. However, they offer no proof that the park was empty at the moment the shot was fired. It’s a reverse-engineered investigation—no one heard the shot, therefore no one was there. (The proof that no one was there is that no one heard the shot.) I think if no one heard the shot, there’s at least a possibility that Foster was shot and killed elsewhere and brought to the park. In other words, was no one at the park when Foster died or did Foster die someplace other than the park?

Why was no bullet found?

Perhaps the most egregious flaw in the suicide hoax is that no bullet was found in the area where Foster was allegedly shot. The FBI said they did a search and found nothing, but it would be “time-consuming, costly, and in all likelihood unproductive” to try to look for the bullet. (Especially since they likely knew—there was no bullet there.) Imagine a major public official from the White House meeting a violent death and the FBI declares it is “too costly” to look for the bullet? When has anyone in Washington ever said anything was “too costly”? This is the smoking gun, or in this case, the missing bullet. There was no bullet in the park. They could have searched every square inch of that park with a feather duster for a year and never found that bullet—because that bullet was left at the place where Vince Foster was shot … and that wasn’t Fort Marcy Park.

Why was no dirt found on Foster’s shoes?

To get from the parking lot to the site where Foster died, you have to walk between 700 and 800 feet. The park has no paved walkways or decking, and it is known for having a lot of scraggly undergrowth. It’s unkempt. Foster’s shoes had no trace of any soil or foliage or other organic matter that one might expect from a man who walked through the park. The FBI says that there were dried leaves present, which meant that no dirt stuck to Foster’s shoes. Their argument is that dried leaves kept his shoes pristine. Or maybe he was killed elsewhere and carried to the site where the body was discovered?

Why were there no powder burns inside Foster’s mouth?

Normally, when you fire a gun in very close proximity to a human body, there are burns, gunpowder residue, stippling, and other evidence of a gun being used. Foster had no powder inside his mouth and no burns either. The FBI argues that “such burns would not necessarily be expected under these circumstances” while sticking to the story that the gun was inside of Foster’s mouth.

Why was there no gunpowder on Foster’s face?

The autopsy notes something called “stippled material” on Foster’s face, but the FBI said it cannot be known if this was gunpower residue, blood spatter, or some other foreign material. They admit the question “remains unresolved.” It would seem to me that you can’t close an investigation with such a big open question left unresolved. But it preferred to leave this question unresolved.

Why This Looks Bad, Very, Very Bad

From the outset, the park police, the FBI, and the White House agreed that Vince Foster committed suicide. But let’s just say for a moment that the Clintons had no involvement in this. The Clintons were innocent bystanders, shocked and saddened by the unexpected and violent death of their old friend from Arkansas. Wouldn’t they want an investigation?

If they were truly innocent and this sudden violent death caught them totally by surprise … I would argue that they would want to consider all possible angles. Maybe Foster was the victim of some random kidnapping and murder? Maybe it was a robbery? Maybe Foster was mixed up in something like drugs or gambling and got himself killed? Foster was a pretty high-ranking guy in the Clinton administration—maybe this was some sort of terrorist act?

No, from the very first moment they heard about Foster’s death (and there is some credible evidence the White House knew Foster was dead before they were officially informed), the Clintons, the FBI, and the press went all in on the suicide scenario.

Foster’s violent death was taken as a suicide from the moment the body was found. (We’re still not sure if Marilyn Monroe committed suicide more than 60 years after the fact, but with Vince Foster, we knew from the very first second.)

The cover stories started to come out that Vince Foster was depressed, stressed, seeking psychiatric care, and that he felt overwhelmed by his job. Some say he had lost weight. and he was not sleeping well. Some of these explanations were vague enough to be meaningless—who in the halls of power in Washington, D.C., doesn’t at times feel stressed and overwhelmed? Good grief, even people who work for FedEx or the public school system or a hospital feel stressed and overwhelmed at times. What person could work for the Clinton family and not get depressed at times?

But Vince Foster didn’t lose weight—bodies are always weighed and measured at autopsy and the day he died, Vince Foster weighed what he always weighed. He wasn’t anorexic—he ate a cheeseburger and fries the very day he died (and what person has a cheeseburger and then drives to a park and completes suicide?) As for seeking psychiatric care, that may never be known since he likely would have kept that top secret and it falls under medical privacy anyway.

The point is a healthy, relatively young, left-handed man went to work, had lunch at his desk, and then drove to an obscure little park and shot himself (with the gun found in his right hand) under very dubious circumstances. The case was instantly ruled suicide. There are so many holes to this story, even the FBI had to admit it looked bad.

Plus there are a couple of other questions. How do you explain the carpet fibers all over Foster’s clothing? Why, it almost seems like he’d been wrapped up in a rug, burrito style. And why did he have blond hairs in his underwear? And why were these hairs never tested? Whatever happened, I don’t think it was suicide.

The Clintons and Epsteins

Why has the Clinton family has been so rigorously and consistently protected and defended? Every media outlet, every government institution, every celebrity, every influencer, every powerful force in this fallen world have all mobilized together with one singular goal: to protect the Clintons no matter what they do or how openly they do it. The Clinton “body count” is widely ridiculed. I actually think the Clintons could commit a crime on video and not even be charged with it.

Nothing Hillary or Bill Clinton has ever done has been truly and honestly investigated. We know the Clintons raised money for Haiti and looted it for their own purposes. We know Hillary sold uranium to the Soviet Union. We know she destroyed subpoenaed evidence and ran top secret information through a private server located in her home bathroom. We know Bill flew cocaine in and out of Mena Airport in Arkansas. We know he ran the White House like a frat house and let Secret Service agents spend most of their time escorting his girlfriends in and out of the Oval Office. (One Secret Service agent wrote that the difficult and distasteful task was that the women had to be moved quickly in and out of the Oval Office without Hillary seeing them and she was known to suddenly just pop in.) We know from at least one Secret Service agent that the Clintons committed domestic violence against each other (Hillary clocked Bill with a lamp that messed up his face so badly he needed a makeup artist to appear in public the next day.) Dick Morris, a longtime associate of the Clintons in their heyday, wrote in his book Armageddon that Bill Clinton punched him in the nose during a disagreement and Hillary advised Morris to lie about it and say he ran into a door. Morris wrote that Clinton assaulted him and that physical scuffles were not unusual in the Clinton orbit. Everybody smiled and laughed.

Why are they so off limits?

And that brings me to Epstein, a man about whom we know far less. Why is he also off limits? Even now in death (if Epstein is even dead) we can’t sully the memory of Jeffrey Epstein. If ever there were people who could commit crimes out in the open and suffer no penalty, it’s the Clintons and Jeffrey Epstein.

How Jeffrey Met Hillary

I don’t know the first time that Jeffrey Epstein met Hillary Clinton, but I think I know the first time that Jeff slipped Hillary some cash. Money, particularly dark money, is Hillary’s love language.

Hillary was raising money to “redecorate the White House.” Jackie Kennedy did some redecorating because that was her nature; Nancy Reagan famously upgraded White House china because she liked fancy state dinners; and now Hillary was allegedly going to spruce the joint up. This is laughable since Hillary is about as interested in interior decorating as she is in particle physics. Hillary famously mocked cookie baking and childrearing as tasks far beneath a woman of her stature. I doubt she was worried about the furniture.

However, it made for a great scam. It was kosher for the Clintons to set up a charity to take donations and then ostensibly use that money to decorate the White House (not that anyone checks how the funds are disbursed). So Hillary decided to redecorate the White House and started seeing who would throw money at her.

Here's Jeffrey

Jeffrey Epstein gave the Clintons $10,000 which in 1993 was worth a bit more than it seems today. I don’t know what they talked about as Jeffrey gave them the loot, but Jeffrey Epstein was a wizard at setting up shell corporations, fake charities, and money laundering scams. He was implicated in a major Ponzi scheme on Wall Street before his 30th birthday, so Jeffrey had the kind of financial skills that could impress the Clintons. (By the way, many people went to jail for that Ponzi scheme except, of course, Jeffrey. He skated. Maybe he was protected or maybe he was just really good at setting up financial dark webs.)

Later on in 2001, the Clinton Foundation was set up, and it is rumored that Epstein was its financial architect. (Bill Gates also runs a bunch of money-making charities that foist dangerous medical products on undeveloped nations; I wonder if Epstein helped him set up the financials for those organizations?)

Since that White House redecorating donation, Epstein has been in and out of the White House and quite frequently. He often brought his girlfriend and partner in crime, Ghislaine Maxwell. Jeffrey Epstein also began a close friendship with Bill Clinton that has been speculated to include visits to the notorious Epstein Island.

As a couple, Bill and Hillary frequently visited Epstein but not on the island or in Epstein’s New York house of horrors. The Clintons went to the Zorro Ranch in New Mexico almost every year according to the Daily Mail who obtained the information from Jared Kellogg, a security guy at the ranch. When the Clintons were in residence at the Epstein place, they lived in a guest house on the property and not in the main ranch house. What were they doing there? Zorro Ranch is a rustic ranch in the middle of nowhere. For a woman who is too high and mighty to bake cookies, living on a ranch in the New Mexican desert seems a stretch. Of course, I don’t know what they were up to. I doubt they were there for birding or horseback riding.

The odd conclusion I see here is that Epstein and Clintons have been given free rein to do whatever they want with no consequences. What makes them so special? And is what makes them so special something they hold in common?