Federal Epicenter Resists Being Federalized

Even Congress Can't Possibly Make Washington, D.C. Any Worse

When Democrats are in power, there is always talk about making Washington, D.C. a state. Democrat strategist James Carville, who always looks to me like he is about to eat a live mouse, has stated that if Democrats ever regain power, they should make D.C. into the 51st state. Carville says that if they make D.C. a state, it will “save democracy.” He also advocates packing the Supreme Court in a bid to “save democracy.” I think when Carville uses the word “democracy” what he means is “power in the hands of the corrupt Democrat party.” But that’s another topic for another day.

The reason Democrats want to make D.C. a state is because it would add 2 Democrat Senators and a maybe even a couple of Democrat Representatives to Congress. However, as the Agin’ Cajun Carville must note, Republicans are in power at the moment.

There is talk about federalizing D.C. That means returning the control of D.C. to Congress, which is where the Founding Fathers wanted it in the first place. And, no, it’s not unprecedented, aberrant, or the end of Western civilization. No, it’s not what Hitler would do. And no, it’s not some kind of Jewish plot. Those are all things that Democrats will say.

Of course, there are even Republicans who might object to letting Congress control any more than is necessary, since they tend to ruin everything they touch. Congress employs the people who ran our school system, the Post Office, and the Internal Revenue Service into the ground. Why give them matches to play with?

Federalizing D.C. is like sending an raging psycho to a mental hospital; you know the mental hospital is not a warm, cozy place and you’re not sure it will help, but you’re pretty sure it won’t make the psychosis any worse.

A Short History of D.C.

The Constitution said that the capital of the United States should be in a district rather than a state. The founding fathers expressly wanted the seat of our nation’s government to be an area where people had no representation in Congress.

Furthermore, this district had to be under federal rather than local control. That’s because the founding fathers meant to establish a seat of government rather than a residential neighborhood, cultural hub, or industrial center. The few residents who would live in this district would not have a Senators or Representatives in Congress because they were either in Congress or other agencies, government-adjacent, or worked for the people who supported these agencies. In other words, normal people were never meant to live in D.C.

They named our capital city Washington and placed it in a surrounding swampy area called the District of Columbia (D.C.). The District of Columbia is literally on swampland, which is a delightful irony. The soggiest of the D.C. land is a place called Foggy Bottom which is where the State Department is situated. Irony is so ironic.

When federal income taxes crushed our nation starting in 1913, the residents of D.C. were not exempted. They pay federal taxes because they get federal services. They also get to vote for President. However, they have never had Congressional representation.

In 1973, Congress passed the District of Columbia Home Rule Act. (Remember this law, it plays a role later in the story.) This 1973 Act allows the district to elect a mayor, city council, and some officials, although this power has been woefully abused since they elected Muriel Bowser, who would be the worst mayor in the country if Karen Bass didn’t run Los Angeles. But if Zohran Mamdani wins the New York mayor’s office, he’ll take the crown as worst mayor ever … but that’s another story for another day).

Among Bowser’s many failings were operating the worst prisons in the country and incarcerating so many of the J6 patriots. She is an ardent Democrat and rumor has it she is Donna Brazile’s main squeeze (Brazile was head of the Democrat National Convention when Hillary was running in 2016). So starting in 1973, D.C. was given a bit of autonomy, which they promptly abused.

There are more rabid leftists per square foot in D.C. than anywhere else on earth except possibly in the Kremlin on free vodka night. So you can imagine what they did with this little dose of power. Very soon, it was not enough, and residents demanded full statehood. They were joined by other Democrats who wanted the extra seats in Congress, and they thought D.C. could deliver. Why work to elect strong candidates when you can just seize a district, make it a state, and run progressive knuckleheads?

Cool your jets, Democrats; it isn’t that easy.

The movement to make DC a state in its own right would require Constitutional adjustments. I am not sure it’s impossible, but it’s not a matter of James Carville’s demanding it, either.

D.C. Snapshot

D.C. is a literal and figurative swamp, and it’s also the shame of the nation. I’m embarrassed that we have let such a beautiful city fall into disarray. It’s like finding out the pretty little prom queen at your old high school became an obese drug addict who earned her living jacking cars.

• Washington, D.C. has the fourth-highest number of gun-related homicides in the nation (40.9 per 100,000 residents), ranking behind New Orleans, St. Louis, and Detroit

• Washington, D.C. does not like to arrest people, particularly if they’re criminals. Between 2018 and 2022 only 1.7% of those arrested for carrying an unlicensed weapon got sentenced to jail or prison

• Firearms are used in 77% of all crimes committed in D.C. so not prosecuting illegal guns might be one of the causes of their high crime rate; no D.C. officials advocate for this

• In fact, in the 1970s, the D.C. council tried to reduce criminal sentences overall

• It’s fair to say they lack the will to prosecute criminals. D.C. refused to even file charges in 34% of cases where someone was arrested for an illegal weapon

• DC has a lot of crime, but it has only 330 prosecutors and three investigators. Compare that to Los Angeles with 900 prosecutors and 300 investigators

• Homelessness is shrinking slightly but some experts say that the numbers have been fudged. Let’s see if this official statistic impresses you. In 2024, D.C. counted 5,616 homeless people and in 2025, it was down to 5,138

• Meanwhile, about 20,000 D.C. residents are wait-listed for zero-rent or low-income housing but D.C. has many empty housing units that could be occupied if city services were more efficient

• D.C. is not that large, but according to the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) it is home to 60 “open-air markets” selling illicit drugs, run by at least 40 different street crews. From what I learned from the Biden White House, some of their local cocaine dealers even deliver. I guess in such a competitive market, you have to offer great customer service

• D.C. ranks first for the highest mortality rate involving illicit drug overdose—more people die of a drug overdose here than anywhere else in the country

• D.C. schools are among the worst in the nation. The good news is, they’re not getting worse. The bad news is that they’re not getting better, either. I guess when you hit rock bottom, you don’t have to go up—you can also just stay there. D.C. has been churning out public school kids who rank 5th from the bottom in reading and math for years and years

• D.C. operates as a Sanctuary City but how it can be under federal control and also flout federal law is a mystery to me

You might think that these problems are caused by a lack of money because Democrats are always crying poverty, that is, when they’re not crying racism or calling Trump Hitler. A lot of residents in D.C. live below the poverty level. In fact, 30% of the district’s Black population is at or below the poverty line. But D.C. is also home to lobbyists, consultants, corrupt politicians, and assorted other fat cats. The median household income in D.C. is the highest in the nation: $106,287. (A median this high with such vast amounts of poverty means that, statistically, many people in D.C. are making millions a year.) D.C. has the 11^th highest combined state-and-local tax rates in the nation and it has a pretty big tax base. On top of that, federal programs contribute about 27% to the city’s budget every year. Some years, D.C. has that rarest of the rare situations for a Democrat-run city: a budget surplus.

Money is not the problem.

And let’s put a human face on this quagmire. Just the other day, Edward Coristine (“Big Balls” of Department of Government Efficiency fame) was savagely beaten while protecting his girlfriend from a gang of thugs who wanted to carjack them. And the people trying to steal his car and hurt his girlfriend were kids—a rampaging gang of teenage criminals. This crime garnered national media attention but only because it involved a prominent citizen. Plus, it let the stuffy people on CNN say “Big Balls” on the air. But violent assaults like this happen every day to ordinary people, and nobody cares, least of all the people currently running Washington, D.C.

Even back in 2021, when things were better in D.C. than they are now, Washington, D.C. was described as a “failed city” by the media outlet unherd.com. Here is another example of a “failed city”: Port au Prince, Haiti.

D.C. Stands for Don’t Care

While some residents feel D.C. is less of a delightful city than it should be, the situation is actually more egregious and more shameful than it appears on the surface. Unlike cities like Philadelphia or Los Angeles or Chicago, Washington, D.C. represents the United States as a nation. Its classic architecture, epic museums, historical buildings, inspiring monuments, and even the government offices belong to everyone. It’s not fair that poor city management has turned the place into a dumpster fire on board a runaway train heading off a cliff while being hit by a nuclear bomb.

The Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) in D.C. have very low morale, because the city officials and local criminals (a huge subset of the population) despise them. Despite budget surpluses, the MPD is understaffed and hampered by ridiculous regulations obviously made up by fat women mayors who know nothing about law enforcement. Check this out. If the MPD has reason to use a vehicle to pursue a criminal suspect, they may only undertake such pursuit if they are certain that no one would be injured during the car chase. If they pursue a criminal—even a violent criminal who just shot up a neighborhood and was on his way to shoot up some more neighborhoods—it is the cops who will wind up in court and have to PROVE that they had a reasonable belief no one would be injured. And make no mistake, if anyone had been hurt (even the fleeing murderer), it’s the police officers who would go to court and later prison—not the murderer.

That’s why the D.C. in Washington should stand for “don’t care.” The city officials don’t care about enforcing the laws, and the police officers can’t afford to care, since they risk their jobs, pensions, and even freedom if they chase bad guys. And the D.C. bad guys don’t care if they get caught or not, since getting caught carries no penalties or consequences.

The podcast Valuetainment with Patrick Bet-David stated that D.C. is one of the most racially segregated cities in the nation, despite its woke policies and the fact that they scream everybody (except them) is racist. Mayor Muriel Bowser is Black and used to paint “Black Lives Matter” on her city streets. But D.C. is arguably one of the most racist cities in the nation. Washington, D.C. has a large Black population (45% of all residents identify as African-Americans), but Blacks are more likely than whites there to live in poverty. And Blacks are disproportionately affected by gun violence (95% of victims of gun violence in D.C. are Blacks). Bowser’s Washington, D.C. paints a good street mural, but the reality is that Blacks suffer more than whites in that city. How is life there not the most brutish form of racism? Washington, D.C. practices racism, lets harm come to its Black citizens, and then gaslights them that racism doesn’t exist there.

Is It Too Late to Federalize D.C.?

This is a complicated issue. Remember the 1973 Home Rule Law? Well, in addition to giving D.C. some power to rule itself, it simultaneously gives the Senate the ability to review, consider, and even veto any laws the D.C. City Council might pass. In other words, the leash is short.

Before you think our government is too mealy-mouthed or drunk to do this, they already have. It’s already happened once with the Crime Bill, also known as the Revised Criminal Code Amendment Act of 2022. This bill was going to make D.C. laws even more lax on crime by reducing sentences or penalties for certain crimes.

• The D.C. Council passed it

• Mayor Bowser vetoed it

• However, the Council had enough votes to override the mayor’s veto

• However again, Congress has “oversight” of the lawless fiends running D.C. and they struck down the Crime Bill

The Congress literally tore up the D.C. Crime Bill, overturned what the Council wanted to do, and then burned the bill and buried the ashes. So Congress has already established precedent that it can stop D.C. from further self-harm. This didn’t happen in 1812, it happened in 2022. Under Biden, even.

A guy named Professor Louis Seidman of Georgetown University (more of an expert than most of us on federalization of D.C.) says that the Constitution would allow Congress to abolish or at least suspend the Home Rule Law and subject D.C. to being totally run by Congress. And, actually, this has precedent, too. Prior to 1973, Congress was in charge of D.C. None of this is some brazen anomaly. It’s more like a wonderful old tradition.

Federalizing D.C. can be compared to appointing a conservator for an unstable person bent on hurting themselves and others. The nation can take control of its once-beautiful capital, Congress can appoint city managers and other administrative folks, Congress can then review all of the crazy ideas these people come up with, reject the crazy stuff, and restore reasonable practices compliant with the values of Western civilization. We could ramp up law enforcement, beef up criminal prosecutions, throw violent thugs in jail, police the streets so it’s safe to walk outside, shut down open-air drug markets, improve district schools, and confront the homeless crisis. And it’s not as if there is a shortfall of money—the money is there.

Don’t expect the Democrats in Congress to understand this. (Remember, if we paid attention to Democrats, we’d still have slaves working plantations.) These liberals and progressive and other Democrat monsters will howl about authoritarianism and unprecedented changes, when actually putting Congress in charge of D.C., even if only temporarily to clean things up, has been done successfully before and it enjoys full Constitutional backing.

D.C. can no more manage its own city than Britney Spears can manage an iHOP. It’s time to do what they tell you to do in an intervention: admit that you have a problem.

If we federalize D.C., the fireworks could be fun to watch. Rachel Maddow will go on her alarmist television show and pretend that Trump is trying to colonize D.C. or take it over. Canada will view this act as Trump’s unending quest for power. Colbert will talk about it on his failed show and it still won’t be funny. There will be demonstrations.

Let’s either (a) not pay attention or (b) get popcorn and laugh and laugh and laugh.

We have to save D.C. It’s not a Democrat city. It’s an American city. It belongs to me as much as it belongs to the D.C. Council, may they all be indicted soon.

What is wrong with trying to save D.C. and make it live up to being the safest and most beautiful capital city we’ve ever had? Why will Democrats say it’s racist or authoritarian or fascistic to end racism in our capital by improving living standards? Why is preventing rampant crime in Washington, D.C., a bad thing? If Black Lives Matter, as Bowser’s street murals colorfully proclaim, then why is residency there for Blacks the same as sentencing them to poverty and crime and death?

America should have a clean, beautiful, safe capital, and it’s doable if we wrest control from the Democrat juggernaut, who made this once beautiful city into a sanctuary for violent crime, lousy schools, and racially imposed poverty?

Those against the idea of federalizing D.C. might also argue that Congress has never, in its long and storied history, ever made anything better. Whatever Congress touches seems to become more dangerous and less efficient. After all, the men and women in Congress, taken as a collective, are more inept than the Three Stooges. However, they are the best remedy we have because (a) they might as well be doing something to earn their bloated salaries and (b) it’s Constitutionally set up that it’s their job. If they do a good job, it may only be a decade or two that’s needed to right the ship.

If they do a lousy job, we can get better people in office.

But it would be hard to imagine how Congress could make D.C. much worse than it already is as a Democrat haven. D.C. is true blue; they vote for President and since 1964, they have voted 100% of the time for Democrats and 0% of the time for Republicans. Over 90% of D.C. is Democrat. No wonder they’re drowning.

Should D.C. Be a State?

The absolute worst disaster for our national image and for its capital city would be making D.C. a state. It’s unconstitutional, for one thing, and goes against the founding principles of our country. D.C. was never meant to be a state, and the limited activities since 1973 at trying to run the place on local power have failed abysmally. Those who feel unfairly taxed and under-represented should consider moving to actual states, like nearby Maryland or Virginia. They’re not very far away.

D.C. has always been a special place. Sadly, that place has gone from safe, dignified, and historically beautiful to becoming a dangerous crime-addled city filled with drugs, poverty, despair. Also lobbyists, but I digress.

Washington, D.C., sends a stark and blood-curdling message to Americans and to the world. It says that the greatest nation on earth can’t manage one city. It says that our leaders and our elites do not care enough about the American people to fight racism, crime, homelessness, drug abuse, or poor education. It screams that we’re inept. Stupid. Hateful. Violent. Lawless.

We need to fix this. Yesterday.

And the best part about federalizing D.C.? It will make liberals go nuts and that’s always fun to watch. Plus it will distract them so we can sneak up and arrest Hillary Clinton.